... reversible, keep-your-options-open decisions reliably lead to lower levels of satisfaction than irreversible ones. In other words, we are significantly less happy with our choices when we can back out of them.
Why does keeping our options open make us less happy? Because once we make a final, no-turning-back decision, the psychological immune system kicks in. This is how psychologists like Gilbert refer to the mind's uncanny ability to make us feel good about our decisions. Once we've committed to a course of action, we stop thinking about alternatives. Or, if we do bother to think about them, we think about how lousy they are compared to our clearly superior and awesome choice.
via fastcompany.com
This business article has a direct application, in my mind, to marriage. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence when the life-time commitment is lacking. When we make our choice of mate with the thought that there is no going back, the PIS kicks in and we see all the reasons why we made the right choice. What do you think about this one?
In 1999, the Church of England issued a 9-page statement on the church’s position on marriage that includes a reference to the union as between a man and a woman. Under the heading “Why is Marriage Important,” the statement says marriage comes from God.
“Marriage is a pattern that God has given in creation, deeply rooted in our social instincts, through which a man and a woman may learn love together over the course of their lives,” the statement says.
via cnsnews.com
Often, in the Bible, we are shown what honor is by examples of dishonor. We are commanded to honor father and mother (Exodus 20:12; Eph. 6:1-3) but the “how” of it is given in terms of things not to do. The man who strikes father and mother is worthy of death. The man who withholds financial support in old age, calling it “corban” is breaking the command of God and is worse than an infidel (Mark 7:10-13; 1 Tim. 5:8). We may understand how to honor our wives by recognizing that there is no honor in abuse. In context this refers to undue physical burdens but may refer just as easily to verbal and other kinds of physical abuse.
Prayer is not a spiritual activity performed far from the daily routine of life, nor divorced from one's human relationships. That most intimate of human ties, marriage, affects our prayers, just as prayer may affect our relationships.
Spirituality is not separate from family life. Peter warns that us these cannot be compartmentalized. Life in Christ envelopes the whole. One part badly conducted harms the rest.